I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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