I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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