think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
you win again, gameday.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
