True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
