i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
