the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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