I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
