Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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