I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
