Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
And then he peed in my hair
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