now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize