You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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