I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
MIDGETS
????
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
did you just send me my own nude
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Randomize
