There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
