So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
