the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
