and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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