We're facebook friends in real life
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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