I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
