i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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