this beer tastes like vomit already
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
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