nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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