my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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