maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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