Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
