we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
