my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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