He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
