Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
