the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize