Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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