You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
