just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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