To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
