You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
