No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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