my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
