They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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