She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
