I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
