forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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