I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I think I won the penis lottery.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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