hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
