i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
