U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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