Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Did I show you my penis last night?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
