just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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