I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
