All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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