glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
