She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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