what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Even my vagina gasped.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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