I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
