how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize