We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
