lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
