My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
