I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
