I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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