We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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