omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
There r osticjed everywhere
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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