there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
