Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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