i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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