There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
