don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
