do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
