Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
