You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
