I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
My nipple is on Facebook.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
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